days

Some days, some more lately, I have had trouble rising up to my days.  I start with a fresh perspective of all that I want to do and feel.   I have my lists of all that I want to accomplish and all the ways I want to feel productive.  I have my "will" and desire to set my heart right before God.  Then somewhere (not too long after) I have felt weary and a little lost and not sure why...  I am so thankful many days are not like this.

But where I landed today is we can't always explain things of life.  My thoughts landed with...I need to surrender. 

Would it be nice to have an entire day to just sit in all of it...think...ponder...pray...do a creative project...read.... do whatever feels right and good....yes

The flowers from my sweeties

But I have to walk up those stairs and enter in.  That means making breakfast, tending to needs, being present, comforting, mediating, being in charge, planning our day....
And yet those things often keep me going in a day and keep me from too much of me. 

So surrender..,.to that little boy who snuggles in my lap but who gave a harsh word to his sister, to that little girl who wants to use the computer and is frustrated when it is closed but slowly comes around when we read a short story together, to God who I talk to and make my declarations... but I am tired of those (declarations) sometimes...so I will just say, "I surrender" to whatever.

I wish throughout the day I could remember in my thoughts and heart all those good Words of life that give perspective...sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

So I will try and just surrender for today.