Our girl continues to struggle as do I. We have had a few bumps as Deveraux continues to navigate her feelings about school. I want answers. I want to know all the reasons she is struggling (so I can solve it). I want to take away her pain (like when she doesn't eat her banana at school because she couldn't peal it or a class mate says "yucky" about the kind of cheese she brings). I want to not stress about the next morning or the next time we leave each other (because it pains me). And I want to know if we should change our course somehow (but get confused about my motives and what is the "right" response). Yet, I want to listen to what I feel and heed the conviction.
It is not peaceful right now.
I do not want Deveraux to experience anxiety in her childhood, it was a close unwanted "friend" of mine.
I just want her to know much happiness, joy, and fullness of life right now. I cannot protect her from all hardship, she has those kinds of days at home as well. However, there is a kind of protection that can be offered at home at this time in her life that can never be again. I know days are coming that bring some much more with them. But I want those days to wait.
It is interesting the feet on this beautiful angel pictured above... (cemetery in Natchez). I never noticed her feet. Her face is what originally caught me. She has feet that do not match the rest of her, maybe she is standing firm, standing strong...feet that are rooted.
Rooted feet. No matter which way the wind blows, a course is set, and followed with conviction.
Rooted feet that are firm because you have been walking with Jesus as a friend, a Father, a confidant. He is the next breath, not because you "have to" or you should but because you want to and you can't imagine going anywhere else.
Just as i missed the feet, I don't want to miss Deveraux in this time. I desire Godly wisdom for Andrew and I as we sort through (sometimes on a different page) what the best direction for Dev is during this hour, this time.
"Therefore just as you have received Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude." (Colossians 2:7)
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Last Stop....Baton Rouge, LA
So we were all about the LSU Tigers in Baton Rouge! We had to check out the Tiger Mania store! Wow, purple and gold everywhere! We definitely joined dada in our Tiger spirit like never before!
Little Tiger!
I think they thought we were all going to the game...maybe next time!
Just dada and John got to see LSU beat North Carolina!
We hung out at John and Mitzi Millers house (dear friends we met while living in Baton Rouge) and said our goodbyes to Papa D, Tia, and Hannah.
So thankful for our family. They add much color and dimension to our life. They are generous, kind, funny, unique, southern, and think the world of all of us! We feel loved and enjoyed and you never know what to expect. They are so different from my own family in some ways and similar in other ways. I love that they came to me as family. There is a freedom often in being with them and as the years pass and we spend more time together it just gets better!
Deveraux thought Hannah was a pretty cool teenager!
Blessed to have you in my life Tara!
I felt on this trip Bobo and Deveraux really enjoyed their Papa D and Tia...
I was able to share a meal with my deal friend and school counselor mentor, Mary Ann. I felt such a wave of gratitude when I saw her and it brought back so many memories. Mary Ann offered me such a wealth of practical school counselor information and just life learning! I gleaned so much from this Godly, kind, generous, woman who took time with me and we shared many hours together, in moments I felt like a daugher and in moments a co-worker. It is so good to go back and see all the parts of who you are and the people who contributed to those parts.
Mary Ann brought myself and the kiddos such kind gifts, Bobo got a very cool Tiger cap!
Mitzi brought out the toys as we hung out with the Millers on Sunday morning...we had different times to catch up and chat...we are hoping to see them soon in Carmel.
Another highlight was spending time with Caroline and her family. Caroline started as my graduate school buddy and we continued a friendship. I am inspired that even with four kiddos she does counseling part time. Caroline has always been a grounded, sincere, and kind woman and I was so thankful to re-connect. And our kids had a play date...go figure!
Our first home in Baton Rouge. I remember setting up a home here. We were on our own for the first time. This is where I experienced, "leaving and cleaing". I definitely felt like a "little wife" in all the good ways. Many things were new, different, exciting. I remember listening to a series on Southern writers, I remember hosting (with my moms help) our first Thanksgiving, seeing Andrew's long hours of writing and reading, and not having many pennies to our name. There was also that question I had looming, now what? What do i want to do with my life? And thus started the journey of joining Andrew in graduate school.
It was so wild when we first came into town. So many memories. It is distant and familiar at the same time.
Our second and last home. Again, so many memories. A little more established, lots of studying for me, Andrew and I continuing to find our "married selves", and finding a precious Jewel in our neighbor, Mildred, who we loved so dearly.
I didn't want to leave quickly. It was like I wanted the memories to linger, I wanted to soak it all in and take myself back. I don't have many childhood memories, these memories are familiar and strong, so I wanted to remember in that space. But we had to continue our drive.
Mike the Tiger was included in the tour and he was a big hit! He lives across from the LSU stadium in a great cage!
A theme for me on the trip was seeing different pre-teens and teens and talking to their parents about how they have grown. It was honestly somewhat daunting. I heard and witnessed behavior I don't want to have to deal with as my children grow or ways that I don't want to see them behave. I also don't want to anticipate it with dread but hope that our story will be good when we enter those crazy years!
Anderson |
Tiger! Growl!
Mitzi, the candy lady. Oh my goodness, she had candy jars and baskets! John and Mitzi offered such kind hospitality in their beautiful home!
Here we go!
They sat down together and they actually sat together for take off! Then Bobo climbed over. I think Deveraux loved being the "mama" for a little bit.
Our plane in the water.
Great trip....full of family, friends, memories, re-connecting, and the South...
Distinct, distant, familiar...
And, I was really thankful to come home which felt really good! I was looking forward to being in our sweet Carmel by the Sea house!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Next stop...Natchez, MS
On the road...Hannah was able to come with us for our road trip!
Natchez, MS. Home to Andrew G when he was a little guy and continued to make visits to his precious Mae maw (his grandma) who he loved with all his heart!
An old cemetery that is fun to visit, we have to hop the fence, which makes it more exciting!
Nothing like these homes...this one is called, Dunleith
Mae maw's house.
Andrew was saying, 'and right here was the swing..."
We were trying to get to the car graveyard Andrew used to play around, but a big dog made us turn around...maybe next time.
We stayed at the old Eola Hotel, tallest building in Natchez downtown
"Real Hero's don't need capes"...Fire Dept! Yeah Bobo!
Mighty Mississippi
Deveraux received a treasure from Tia, a doll, who she named Rosalie, and this is the antebellum home names Rosalie, so of course she had to stand in front of it!
A crazy wild house in the South
We have our places we stop when we come to Natchez and one important place is where Mae maw is buried. We brought roses.
Even a cemetery can be a playground!
I had to take a picture of this house that had a For Sale sign on it!
This is the home called, Deveraux!
Special memories are here, It is fun to go back and stop and see what is different and what remains the same. Much of Natchez was the same. It was wild to think of those that have been there their whole lives. It is just a little southern town with big houses and run down small homes in the same neighborhood. No Starbucks just one coffee shop in town. It is quiet, tucked away, but people working and living day to day who call Natchez, MS home. I am so glad Andrew and Dale (his dad) had a place like this to grow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)