In the inbetween

So do I think we are ready for a home??? This was our 3 night stay in a one room hotel. Thank you God for your provision at the Hyatt. If you are going to be homeless, a good place is the Highlands Inn Hyatt in Carmel!

Saw this light in the window on and made me long for a home. Told the kids we would have a light on in our front window.

The following were just a few of the things we were going through over the past week:

The days still feel somewhat sureal in this "inbetween" time. I feel not "there"(where I was) but not where we will be. Finding a home feels so important and I had many fears that we would not find "it". It has been so hard to drive by all the beautiful homes and realize they are out of my grasp.

I have realized not only the importance of a home but a home that is beautiful to the one who resides in it. To find something that resonates and inspires. Every house I see I wonder. Will God provide that home that I desire or will He say, wait on that, I have something else in mind for you that season. It is so hard to trust when trust is required! It just seems like we won't find "it" and then I just have to trust and keep on.

Regret is so hard to live with and I have not felt it this strongly in a long time. We lost a house on the beach that we had looked at because I did not say yes and we lost the chance to say no or yes. There were reasons I did not give a yes right away but in the face of not having another option I am so upset I did not agree to take it. Give me grace Lord, give me trust.

There have been some hard moments with the kids. I feel more "on them" and they seem to be testing more. We are somewhat in a bubble with each other. Taken out of the envrionment we knew and plopped in this inbetween spot. I believe looking back I will see this time as so precious (and I already do as I write this) and that we really had this time just "us". I wish I felt more carefree and more "fun mom".

In spite of it all, Deveraux and Anderson have been so amazing. We had to go to a new hotel and leave the Hyatt for 3 days because the Hyatt was full due to a car show that came to town. They never question, Deveraux just starts exploring the new space and Bobo goes down for his nap, so trusting, so unlike me a lot of the time.

Day by day we go

Well the story continues and it gets good....