Notes

Deveraux and Bobo had an altercation...which happens. I am blessed by how they play, how Deveraux nurtures, and how Bobo follows her around..but they are only human. So on this day, after some sit down conflict mediation, Anderson comes outside where I had resumed my painting project and told me Deveraux gave him this note. "For Bobo, I am sorry for what I did." I was so touched. I get on Deveraux for being a good example, watching how she treats her brother and this is her heart...totally unsolicited, as a heart should be.
Bobo said, "I gotta write a sentence." So a couple of lines later, it reads...
"I love you mama and dada." (according to Bobo)

These are notes I will keep!

Taking root

(Deveraux skipping with such peer abandon)


I have a feeling this blog entry is going to be all over the place because I have had lots "swirling around".
I am still desiring to be used... to serve...have my life involved with others. I often don't really want the messiness that comes with it, but I know the blessing always exceeds any discomfort. Whom am I to serve Lord? Just my kids for now?
I feel somewhat dormant at times. But I catch glimpses that there is something going on behind the scenes. I have lived a lot of my life in front....leading, heading up programs, singing, facilitating Bible study, organizing events...there is none of that right now and no one in my day to day sees that in me or I can't "show them who I am".
I feel He is behind the scenes and producing a harvest in me. I am dormant in many ways to the outside world but I want to be alive inside me, my relationship to God, and to my family.
Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service to Him. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him. Are we more devoted to to service than to Jesus Christ?"
(Oswald Chambers)
Transplanted..."first came the wilt, then the gradual settling in (roots), then the growth spurt."
(from a favorite Mitford series books)I knew this would come. The battle of being new, starting over, transplanting. I feel the genuine sorrow at times of not sharing my life here in tangible ways with others. I know I can spiral down quickly into..."you won't be chosen because you are flawed." or "you just have a hard time with friends and you always will." When I go to those places (I think we all have them) it is not profitable or good. And as my dear sister Stef reminded me, we are still in transition, it takes time. And I want and need to make roots at some point and trust that will happen.
"Consider the lilies of the field"-they grow where they are put. Many of us refuse to grow where we are put, consequently we take root nowhere."
This is my soil for now, as hard as it is, I want to take root and grow. I realized that I really enjoy people and I like sharing lives (might sound silly but it was kinda of an ah-ha , I miss than inner-exchange and I just like hanging with women). I don't just want to hear the sound of my voice, I want to share my life, share my families lives with others.
So here is to roots and to growth!

Our trip to Seal Beach

So our journey to celebrate Fede's life and be with Marci took us to Seal Beach. It is about a 6 hour drive to Southern CA. We only had a little over 24 hours to make the trip. It felt important to mark this day with Marci, for our friendship. I still have not gotten over the loss when Marci and her family left Maui when Fede was diagnosed with cancer. She was an unexpected friend that pursues and is genuinely interested in me, I feel better when I leave her presence, and I feel I can be honest and loved. We love hotel rooms! We stayed in Hunnington Beach. We arrived at 9:30 pm on Friday and had only a half hour before the pool closed, we changed quickly and headed for the pool. The kids were so excited, they were like jumping beans, I was so glad we could also give them this burst of happiness and excitement on a trip such as this....

Out door area with a fireplace.

We woke up to rain

Then the rain cleared for some slide action. I told Andrew, it is just wild to me that we have been a pool for more days than not for the last 9 years and then within 6 months, maybe just a handful of times. Something that was such a part of our lives. I felt nostalgic and sad for that missing part and yet we don't life our lives in the sadness, you just fill it with other things. It goes back to what I said a couple of moves ago, "you can get used to anything."

But...I do look forward to maybe more pool time in our future. It was a good remembrance of our life in Maui and a reminder to continue to seize these times in our life. There is something about being outside and active that is good for our family!

"His mercies are new every morning!"

Federico Pecora

'Those who are wise will shine as bright as the sky, and those ho lead many to righteousness will shine like the starts forever." Daniel 12:3 (Fede's verse)
My sweet friend Marci who showed such courage and strength and presence

My dear friend, Marci lost her husband Fede to cancer on January 1, 2012. He was born on January 21, 1970. The memorial celebration was called a Celebration of Life! And it was...the Gospel was given and the pastor said he would be doing a disservice to Fede if he did not say the only way to true life is through Jesus Christ.

Fede was diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer in June 2007 and two weeks later they moved to California to receive treatment. His doctors had given him less than a year to live but "he fought bravely for 4 1/2 years."

Andrew and I were struck by the fact both from what we knew and what others shared that Fede really lived passionately. He didn't seem caught up in the trap of money. He realized what was important, saw his blessings, and shared that with others. I can hear his voice now with such passion and his South American accent, he wanted so much from life. His legacy can live on in the love he left with his wife and two children and all those who knew him.

These are Fede's words:

"I want to encourage you today to never give up, to believe that God is here for you always to listen and give you the strength and peace that you need to face any situation that you are going through. We have to understand that these trials in life are not in vain but that they have a purpose. I believe that God wants us to be always in action for others and ourselves. We all have more strength than we realize that we have, and God can help you find it. He can also help you overcome any trial, challenge or anguish you face.

With my own experience with cancer, I have learned that serenity is not to be safe from the storm, it is to find peace in the middle of it.

Today is a gift from God for all of us and we shouldn't wast it. Today is the day to increase our love for others, to increase our love and gratefulness to God.

Valentines House

I love holidays, celebrations, marking the moment....so it is very fun to decorate and prepare for upcoming holidays. But for me, it is more than just a decoration. It is a time to make the day a little something extra by making a craft, delivering "yummy's" to a neighbor, pulling out the decor year after year and having a "comforting" memory, and a way to say, special days are just that..special and we will celebrate "specialness".

A fun new "tradition" we started the year is to write notes to members of the family and you place your note or candy in the mailbox and put the flag up, whoever notices the flag is up can open it and see who "got mail." A fun way to say, "I love you" and "you are pretty great".

This is always the special holiday table for whichever season we are celebrating.

It is so great to get fun ideas off the Internet for celebrating. These are just cut out hearts with our names, hand prints...it can really be anything and they are fun in the window.

Usually the days before the celebration or holiday are the best, the anticipation and preparation(with the great exception being the birth of my two children). So I want to relish in those days and have my kids remember the fun and enjoyment in getting ready, learn about a holiday, or just enjoy what it means to celebrate.

Each year, it is also fun to build on the previous year and add to the "holiday collection"

Great idea I read about...using paint samples of Home Depot, cut out with a heart shaped punch and you have a great heart garland. It just made me happy looking at it, so I told Deveraux we needed to make another for our kitchen.

Happy Celebrating!

A friend

A visit to Half Moon Bay to see Uncle Roy and Roni (my sister Stef). We drove for a couple of hours to have dinner with Stef and Roy as they were in CA for a medical conference for Roy. I know this is one of the reasons we aer living on the mainland, to take advantage of these opportunities.

After dinner and a quick walk, we "raided" the romantic hotel room for two and took over the bath. It was Anderson's highlight! Deveraux started feeling sick during dinner and actually got sick in their bathroom. So we did "invade" somewhat....but Stef and Roy were so gracious!

So I had been feeling a little lonely the last few days. I prayed for a friend.

I told Stef that God answered my prayer by giving us a unexpected brief time together. Often, the answers don't come as we would envision.

In moving to CA, I have prayed that prayer for a new friend and I want to be open to that continuing prayer. Deveraux told me she wanted to have a "Heart Party" to celebrate Valentines Day. In my mind I thought, "no way" especially when she mentioned I could invite my "friends." But I feel convicted both for her sake and mine (we have been called to extend ourselves). I keep thinking maybe I just won't make friends with anyone during this season in CA. I remember feeling this before when we have moved that I just won't meet friends here as I have met other places. Or friendship feels like work, complicated, potential disappointment (or I should say, definite disappointment)...but then I think of friends that I have met where I always left then feeling better than when I came and it makes me hope a little...

So I told Deveraux, "yes, we can have a Heart Party and invite friends." Now that I have written that, I guess I am accountable to do it!

First field trip

Deveraux had her first field trip to our local Aquarium last week. She was so excited. She got to ride her first school bus! She said it was her 3rd best day! (first one being the 1st day of school, second was making gingerbread houses at school).
I was bummed that I could not ride the bus, but I didn't want to leave Anderson with our babysitter for that long, so I met her there to chaperone. (another hard part about school are those choices)

Amazing school of fish!

So I feel I need to work on my attitude some with school. I often just want her to be home and keep our nest intact. One morning I interrupted her sitting on our windowsill lost in some music, somehow it feels important for her imagination to have ample time to run... It seems like an interruption in a time we can't get back. The time she was home went so fast (as everyone says it will) and I selfishly want more and want it to last longer.

Deveraux shared some of her first words of insecurities over friendships and choosing "best friends." She was wondering why one girl was chosen as a best friend and she said, "maybe it is the way she looks..." Ahh here we go. The pain of not being chosen begins early and the great joy of being chosen is important... Lord give us wisdom as we navigate this road with Deveraux.

One of the days my dad and Kimberly were visiting, we told Deveraux she could take a day off school. She instead chose to go, it was Friday pizza day and she wanted to see friends. I was kind of amazed she wanted to go. I dropped her off and as I drive by she was standing by the gate in the playground looking for me (she hasn't done this for awhile). She generously waved and then ran of joyously to play not looking back....

Both a sting and a relief.

Here we go 2012

A Masterpiece
A New Year...I feel I have so much to catch up on with God and myself, having spent 12 very full days in Colorado, then looking back over the last 2 months of almost non stop travels (Maui, San Francisco, Southern CA, and Colorado and our wonderful guests (mom, Papa D and Tia, and Papa and Kimmy). It has been really fun, really full and now is the time to take "stock" slow down and find normal in this new Carmel life. I have resolutions as always..the usual but especially now... to lose that baby weight, tend to my marriage, being really present with my kids...to name a few.
And my most important asking God what am I to be about... living a surrendered life..living a life of faith in action not just in speech, do I live like I believe... and seeking Him in prayer,..what do I want to be in prayer about (as was asked us in Church).... be in wonder about God
.....before Him alone.
I want to be different at the close of this year

Toys underfoot

Anderson enjoys playing with toys. I didn't get to experience this as much with Deveraux, as she was usually into other things, like role playing with me. I love hearing Anderson in the background using voices and creating some sort of exciting drama that involves saving lives!

I love that he came into the kitchen where I working was so play "alongside" me.

I loves toys underfoot. My sister, Heather once told me that as a mom one can grow weary of always cleaning up toys...but there will come a day where there will be no more toys underfoot. So mommas and dadas celebrate the toys you step on and trip on, they are to be cherished!

Our Boy

Be free Baby Boy!

I had a few struggles in Colorado around Bobo. I became weary of worrying about if he was being perceived as "in the way, or mediating and "running interference" with his cousins who were trying to get used to having 2 year old around. I realized no place and no relationship is perfect, this is reality and this is the thing that drives us to Jesus. I also am thankful I get the weather those things with the family God has given me and that we can work those things life and relationships present.

During the last couple of months with family around, I also had concerns about our son, that maybe we weren't disciplining him in the right way or he was "getting away with too much". It was helpful to think through some things regarding Anderson, to be aware, and work on a few things. And I have also come to the conclusion, by the grace of God, we have a great boy and we are doing okay.

I love our kiddos being at the beach and in nature. I believe imagination is invited to soar when we are in God's creation!

One of the many things I love about Anderson is his expression of feeling and delight. He often will say, "I love this place", he notices things around him and enjoys.

love when he pulls out his books and "reads"

I just want to savor the moments...

We walked in the bathroom and the bubbles were up to Anderson's neck....(he he)

Look at those pants! He is growing, I looked and I just was so surprised! I wish they didn't have to grow...but then I love how the relationship grows with their growth..maybe we could just put a cap on it. Or maybe I just need a lot of grace to handle my babies growing!

Fire Trucks!

One of our surprising outings was the fire station. Of course if we are downtown, we always walk or drive by the fire station. This time, the firemen gave us our own personal field trip, it was great!

Anderson loves it all! The firemen are so kind, every time we go by the firehouse. This fireman, so patiently explaining all the knobs and hoses, remembers going by this Carmel fire station when he was 2! Pretty Great!

The stuff of dreams...

Papa and Kimmy come to Carmel

We love Carmel Beach

Sunset was breathtaking and it just kept getting better!

At dada's work

Loved Papa reading to Deveraux

Deveraux made this gingerbread house at school (her second best day of school), we had some fun before we said good-bye to the house.

One of our outings was Point Lobas, Anderson was in a pot they used to use for Whale blubber...

Dad and Kimberly's visit was really pleasant. They were willing to just hang out and go with whatever we were up to...we did a few walks, park time, Earthbound farm, home time....there was just a general sense that they were with us and we so appreciated how much they loved on Deveraux and Anderson. A great visit!

Love you Pops!