Taking root

(Deveraux skipping with such peer abandon)


I have a feeling this blog entry is going to be all over the place because I have had lots "swirling around".
I am still desiring to be used... to serve...have my life involved with others. I often don't really want the messiness that comes with it, but I know the blessing always exceeds any discomfort. Whom am I to serve Lord? Just my kids for now?
I feel somewhat dormant at times. But I catch glimpses that there is something going on behind the scenes. I have lived a lot of my life in front....leading, heading up programs, singing, facilitating Bible study, organizing events...there is none of that right now and no one in my day to day sees that in me or I can't "show them who I am".
I feel He is behind the scenes and producing a harvest in me. I am dormant in many ways to the outside world but I want to be alive inside me, my relationship to God, and to my family.
Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service to Him. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him. Are we more devoted to to service than to Jesus Christ?"
(Oswald Chambers)
Transplanted..."first came the wilt, then the gradual settling in (roots), then the growth spurt."
(from a favorite Mitford series books)I knew this would come. The battle of being new, starting over, transplanting. I feel the genuine sorrow at times of not sharing my life here in tangible ways with others. I know I can spiral down quickly into..."you won't be chosen because you are flawed." or "you just have a hard time with friends and you always will." When I go to those places (I think we all have them) it is not profitable or good. And as my dear sister Stef reminded me, we are still in transition, it takes time. And I want and need to make roots at some point and trust that will happen.
"Consider the lilies of the field"-they grow where they are put. Many of us refuse to grow where we are put, consequently we take root nowhere."
This is my soil for now, as hard as it is, I want to take root and grow. I realized that I really enjoy people and I like sharing lives (might sound silly but it was kinda of an ah-ha , I miss than inner-exchange and I just like hanging with women). I don't just want to hear the sound of my voice, I want to share my life, share my families lives with others.
So here is to roots and to growth!