Believing

Hearing the news about Sandy Hook was pure shock and just sadness.

Then fear

Then "what if" and a sense that no one is safe

Then just trying to make sense and searching for articles that will somehow make pieces fit or a sense to try and understand and to be a part being so far removed and yet not....because it could be me, it could be us.

I had a friend coming over for coffee, I wondered if she wonders how the God I believe in could allow this to happen. 

I don't know. 

I know He can stop these things and sometimes He does and sometimes He doesn't.

I know my relationship isn't and cannot be based on what I see Him or doing or not doing.

It can't be.

I have chosen to believe and I know the alternative to not believing during these days would feel despairing. 

So I will pray for these families and mine. 

Hoping I will never have to walk that path, in moments I wonder how I would survive.

And I believe in a God I don't always understand... knowing I can trust in Him and not in what I see...even within me. 

Saving grace is all we have.

He is who we have.