on loving

I was thinking the other evening as I was putting the boy to bed that my days are so filled with teaching, correcting, and rebuking.  As I laid in bed with him my memory was provoked as to when he was three and how much fun we had together.  We would run our errands, do home projects, read fire fighter books, and he was my little pal.

 

(oh man that face!) 

My feelings feel very similar to how I feel about Cambria right now, maybe that is my mama's heart towards toddlers.  I also know with Cambria coming Bobo lost that place as my baby.  These thoughts of my Bobo definitely stopped me "big time."  It made me realize I have to find ways of relating to him as my pal and as I look on him tonight... not always trying to get him to stop doing something or to do something. 

Among many things that is one of the struggles of homeschooling. You begin to relate to your kids through one lens and then when school is over you desire to break and they go play and it can be deceiving that you have filled their cup completely. 

Unless I change my homeschooling around a bit and become more relaxed or student directed.  Which again, I want to teach more from that place of rest.  I still struggle finding the line between the being relaxed and being more directed and focused so we get something done.  I feel the fear we wouldn't get anything done and I also know there is still a place to teach discipline.  Still searching...

God I need you.  Every hour.  I need Him to help me to help me know how to really love Bobo.
Its about dependence. 

(Since writing this....school is getting better!  I also am trying to be intentional about squeezing on Bobo and giving him that affection).  I love you Bobo!