How I thought I would be further along.
What can I offer you and give you something to hold onto in my own uncertainty. Not wanting to give something I don't believe in.
"Life is full of daily, monotonous tasks, reasons to give up hope, jobs with no end in sight. But the gospel tells a contrary story, one in which the most hopeless part of us is made new and a future glory made possible, all because we know that Christ has died, Christ is risen, and Christ will come again.
Life is not working. And all I know is to start where I am. To be honest seeking Him and wholeness.
I want there to be no weeds. I want life to work. I want to be made whole. I want the clean house to be enough...and last.
I, we have to speak truth to those parts of our life that feel uncertain and unclear. I often live in the place that just keeps repeating the tragedy (fill in the blank), the nuisance (fill in the blank), the heart ache (fill in the blank) the disappointment, the missed opportunity, the regret, the insecurity, and all the feelings.
What do we know. What is the Gospel story. How do we speak truth to our hearts and hope.
You have been there. Jesus, you knew me as that little girl, we can trace the scenes together.
You were there with me when I felt afraid in 5th grade, moved to many different houses through the years, when I left home for the first time, met Andrew, moved away from my home state in a Penske truck, and heard my babies first cries. And you will there until the day I see you face to face. You are a Father, friend, and Savior. If I can build my part of Us and spend real time intimately knowing you that is good for my soul. This speaks to spending time on those things that last. How tempted am I to spend that extra time moping the floor instead of seeking His face. It is so easy to talk about God, read about God, fellowship with God and not know Him.
I am a new creation. The old is gone and the new has come. I believe there is growth for this side of heaven even when all within screams differently. There is a fight for our hearts. Hope often means just keep walking in the light we have.
So realizing God has been and is here is a start. Sometimes just walking trusting a break through will come when it comes. And I also believe engagement in those things around us is good for the soul and gets us outside of us. For me this is relationally even thought this has been a tough area in my life and being outside in nature by moving and exploring those things around me.
I love that quote that speaks to the idea to "be kind because we are all fighting a battle."
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