May....part 1

I realize after posting pictures how May was full....I thought it was going to be a slower month.  I guess that is in comparison to all that has taken our attention in June....thus the reason for so long without posting.  So here is a bit of May....

We took some time to explore the Moss Landing area.  First stop

was a fish restaurant called Phil's Fish Market.

Next we explored the beach. 

We cherished this peaceful afternoon in an isolated spot.

Horses on the beach

 

One day Deveraux told me, "Sometimes you have

 to just seize the moment."

Love seeing her read in bed in the morning!

Bobo, "Hey mom, I love you". 

As long as I live, I will never tire of those words!

Our sweet Emeline in our life turned 2 and

had a Peacock Party!

She loves seeing the peacock visit her each evening in their backyard.

The Peacock came to visit.  Ben (Emeline's dad) was told that if you held a mirror

up to a Peacock, he might spread his feathers.  We waited and waited, no show.

Then Joy let us know that the very next evening for the first time,

he spread his feathers!

This was our Mother's day celebration at school.

 

Next was the May day celebration.  A time honored tradition

at River School.  Each grade performs a song, the event opens

with a May Pole dance.

 Deveraux's class song was from Peter Pan, "I don't want to grow up!"

Picnic after....

The lovely garden at River School

I took this while driving just to show part of the farm land in our area,

I continue to love the diversity of landscape. 

Last weekly homework packet!!!

Open House at school

Deveraux's teacher, Ms. Lebel

First Grade

May pole

Science room attraction!

Spanish puppet attacking Bobo

Familiar walk to the car

 

Watching sis and dada leave in the morning.

Deveraux prepared a lovely table for our snack after

 school one day.

Ahhh at last the fence is almost finished.

The workman told Bobo good-bye.

....he quickly grabbed a stool to see if he could see

the workman over the fence.

A little too high...darn!

A new bakery to try....not officially Bakery weekend

because we did not have dada with us.

Our first tide pool class.

Sea anemones...we learned these small creatures that almost

look like moss are actually very territorial.  They have

a toxic poison that keep other creatures from their side of the rock.

My eyes were opened to the vast and intricate world of

tide pool life....another example of our creative expansive God at work!

In every detail, He is!

Dev loves the Sea Star's!

 

Yes, he is in his sweatshirt, shorts, and shoes.

At least he had on his hoodie!

A great day of exploration!

One silly night, a reminder that we need more silly in our life!

dada got in on it!

A great day! 

A day in Santa Cruz exploring the red woods

with our dear friends, Young and Eugene.

Practicing the dance steps for Gigi's upcoming

party...."She works hard for the money...." 

One day when I was looking at clothes in

a shop. Bobo saw a woman's jacket he liked,

he said, "I really want to see this on you."

Lovely generous friends!

We ended our time with pizza!

 The kitty Bobo loves I found sleeping in my bed!

Our first try at a mosaic.  We put shells and broken

pottery pieces on a shutter, a pot and then some other

pieces of Terra cotta.  Very messy as we had plaster

and gorilla glue all over our hands.  It took a few days

for it to all come off.  I love projects and sometimes

I just dive in and deal with the messy results later!

For twin day, we went in to help the students at Deveraux's school

put Sea Stars on white T-shirts.  It was fun to have Bobo along, the last

days of school were relaxed and fun!

Our last time with Belinda, our friend from China.  She was returning

to China after spending almost a year in the U.S.

 

Tonight, I read Bobo his story.  We have been reading his devotional each night, "Mighty Warrior" but I thought, "he is tired, I will pray and that will be okay."  I turned out the light and he said, "We didn't read my devotional."  Gladly I turned back on the light.  Right before he fell asleep, he asked, "Is God sad?"  I asked him, "Why?"  He said, "Because I unbehave?"  I told Bobo God loves you so much.  He then told me when he goes to Carter's house he will listen to God and obey. 

Engaging with and loving Belinda was somewhat a struggle for Deveraux.

We are still navigating why it is sometimes difficult for Deveraux

to give of herself to certain people she is not drawn to.  For those

Deveraux loves, she fully loves.  We had some outside motivation

for this day to give to Belinda.  But Deveraux was able to identity

that we hope that motivation will become internal and she will

be able to give freely even when it is not easy.

Courtyard area one day after school 

Sweet friend from school 

An afternoon at the beach celebrating Dev's friend from school.

I celebrate new friends God Has brought in my life!

May part 2 coming up.....

Currently.....

When I started really getting into writing a blog for our family, an indication of the fullness of my life began to coincide with how "current" my posts were...well, not very current lately.  We had a whirlwind end of May continuing right into June.  I feel we started summer on June 25th.  So hopefully many posts to come, I am ready to catch up!

I also know I am ready to post when my mind is swirling and I feel the need to write.  My journal has always been a place for me to "unswirl", yet, now I feel more drawn to do it through a post.

I have been somewhat hesitant to write about our future because it is uncertain and because I guess I feel the package needs to be presented more complete and whole.  Well it is not complete or whole but I feel it is good to mark and to write about.

At the beginning of May, Andrew came home from work and told me he had talked to the national Director of Sales and he told Andrew to get ready for Maui soon as the hiring process was coming.  When we came to Carmel, Andrew was told he would be able to come back to Maui once the Hyatt began to build in Maui.  The news that Maui was on the horizon further solidified the truth I was already feeling....I loved where we were living.  I had found a home both in friendship and in the beauty that surrounds the area.  So I had the thought/prayer about Andrew becoming the Director of Sales because we knew the current director was possibly going to lose her job.  Well 2 days later, Andrew was offered the Director of Sales job.  I was so excited and this further solidified how much I really wanted to stay.  Together, we made many notes that weekend, plans that Andrew wanted to execute, we were ready with hopes set for him to "try out" this new position even though Maui was still on the back burner.

Well 3 days later, there came from those above Andrew what seemed to be "back pedaling".  They wanted Andrew to make a quick decision and seemed more noncommittal about Andrew's potential role as a manager at the Maui Hyatt.  It was very disappointing.  It became awkward for Andrew with co-workers who wanted the Director job and things seemed much more stressful at work.  Andrew quickly realized he did not want to take on the position and that it would not be a good move professionally for him at this time to be the Director at the Carmel site. 

So here we are at another crossroads.

Andrew did not anticipate this role change a couple of months prior, he was simply making it work until he could get back to Maui.  I did not anticipate my heart becoming so involved here.  When we left Maui we focused on how hard it would be to start over in CA, I did not anticipate it would be so hard to leave.

Of course many talks occurred, as we have been here before.  A theme in our lives together.  I went through all the honest questioning of.... do we always do what Andrew wants, should I take a turn, I want him to realize how hard this is on me, and I kept going back to wanting him to take on the challenge of taking this new position.  We stopped at one point and knew all the stuff about his job was not the point, we both realized the point was us and we needed to focus on all that we did agree on and come together. 

Does this place where Andrew presents a new change sometimes feel like a choice less choice?  Yes,  at times,  Does it feel sacrificial-yes.  Would I say yes again-yes. 

I desired for something to create meaning to move to Maui.

Fast forward to Colorado.  A talk with my sister and I realize that I can say yes to moving back to Maui.  I can give this to the man who loves me and provides for us.  Maybe this is my calling, to follow my husband.  I have known for sometime, you can get used to anything.  And I have and I have been so blessed by all the pilgrim adventures we have been on.....

Now fast forward to coming home after vacation, Andrew is finding it harder and harder to go to work.  He wants to be honest with those he works with and let them know he definitely does not want the Director job and still very much wants to pursue only Maui.  My resolve to want to be on board for Maui and give this to Andrew starts fading with the possibility that it could become a reality.  Andrew and I realize our anxiety and uncertainty are the same even if we feel it in desiring a different outcome.  That feels good to us.  We can identify with one another even in the differences.

He submits his resume, we are waiting to hear, he pursues all the key players diligently and tenaciously.  We are praying.  The prayer is if there is a specific direction let us know, if not, we will make the best decision we can.  The prayer is one of faith as we wait.  We cannot get this time back.  The eye of the storm, the waiting, the faith building in-between moments, those moments we all want out of...... can be a gift when they are used to call out.  This is faith.  To not know for certain an outcome and yet to believe in a God who does....

So do we believe what we pray?  Do we pray with belief that He will answer?  We listed last night all the ways God has been faithful to us, reminding ourselves how He has seen us through.

Tonight Andrew receives a text that the leadership team has been formed in Maui and does he have any interest in being a Sales Agent.  We are shocked, in disbelief, not anticipating it would come to this....no phone call, no interview, and all the talk leading up to this that it appeared as though he would have a good shot at a management job...and now feeling somewhat deceived and feeling he has been treated unfairly and wondering how it is tied into not accepting the Director position here in CA. 

So now what.  I don't know.  This is the messiness of life.  I thought we would have many choices, now our choices seem less clear and just plain less.  I feel sadness for Andrew.  There has been toil and time waiting for Maui for him  I feel confused and surprised.  I felt like staying on my bed (and not joining in on dinner) this evening as I felt all the energy I had left (I have been sick with a cold) leaving me.  I felt for Andrew today before I even knew this news would come.

I also feel we prayed.  While I don't want to "shine" this up and say, "we should feel great because this must not be what God intends for us"....it is kinda true.  It is still hard but God is either on the throne or He is not.  If we prayed to include Him, then He cannot be shut out now that we didn't get the choice we wanted.  We prayed.  We asked.  I don't have much clarity on all the ways God works.  I know He desires good things for us.  I know Andrew is His son.  I know He wants us to trust in all the ways we have been blessed and how He has seen us through.  And I will choose to believe God is in the answer.  I will seek to hear Him.  And I will continue to seek and find God in the day to day.

Today God blessed me and the kids with the sweetest lady at a beautiful home store in Carmel who gave our kids free shells from her store.  I had told the kids that we were not going to buy any bakery treats today.  In an effort to pull out the credit card less, I wanted to stick to my decision.  Then we found this blessing of a lady who offered us free treats! 

Do we know our future, heck no!  But we have blessing upon blessing.  I also know we will be okay.

From Power of a Praying Wife..."God doesn't want us to know the future, He wants us to know Him.  He wants us to trust Him to guide us into the future one step at a time.  In order to understand God's leading, we must seek Him for every step." 

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Andrew and I will press on in this together.  We will look back on this.  We will have more 'climatic scenes.'  I want to look back knowing we were intentional in the days in between, we sought and trusted before we knew the outcome.  The results and outcomes will come and go over and over in our life time and "this too shall pass"...but how will it pass?  Will we choose one another?  Love?  Will we commune with God?  I hope so!

"I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future, and a hope."  Jeremiah 29:11

'There is hope in your future."  Jeremiah 31:17