Keep in the light of truth

found this picture and I just love it...Maui days, little Anderson, new red scooter

I know I have probably been saying something similar through different entries, but it is one of the main things on my heart and mind in these days and I am wanting to work it out.  I live these days with my kiddos a lot of time in a rush.  Why?  Got to get the homework done, get the teeth brushed, to get to the bath...time is so scheduled.  I feel impatient if there is a stall, come on, we have things to get to...what?  Another bath, another dinner, does this keep me going....this schedule?

I live usually always doing two things at once...or more...I am painting a bookshelf while acting the part of Taylor (from High School Musical) with Deveraux (who is Gabriella) while giving directions to Bobo on how to find the mechanic for his tricycle. 

I live like the list will get done, but it never does.  I have such hope that as soon as the house is clean, then....or as soon as can get to a stopping point....I will just sit and play or attend to that song they want me to hear, but then the song ends and the activity moves onto something else.  I will have this vision while I am busy in the kitchen of just sitting outside on the cement block watching their play and then their delight that i am just sitting there watching them.

I also have a list that is a personal one besides household duties...this blog, scrapbooking, decorating stuff, reading other blogs and hearing about motherhood from others, and on.  This list also often doesn't feel completely met each day, I want to selfishly fight for my time to feel compete in these areas of personal fullness...it just doesn't always happen.

Why don't I just choose.  Why is the list, the duty, the need for a certain kind of productivity, keeping on schedule....is it the "lot" of a stay at home mom?  Is it me?  Yes and Yes.

I want to be a really good mom.  I know that I love my children so very much and that they know this.  I know that listen and treat them with dignity.  But....I want to work on these areas, I really do.  I know I cannot have perfection, but I want more.

It hit me last night, It might be a good idea to pray about this.

I just read my Oswald devotion for today and it seems to run in this same current..."Compare this week in your spiritual history with the same week lat year and see how God has called you up higher.  We have all been brought to see from a higher standpoint.  Never let God give you one point of truth which you do not instantly love up to. Always work it out, keep in the light of it."

Last night...I felt this sense of, "pay attention" to this, explore this "rush" and this sense of not being able to just be in motherhood.  I want to keep "in the light" of this and "work it out" with Him and with them!

By the Grace of God, there I (we) go.....