A work in progress.....



Apples Bobo picked from a tree at Earthbound Farm

I felt the conviction the other night that I needed to "get my house in order."

Well I need to come to a place where I just step in that direction.

I want to be intentional.  I want to make wise choices with my time.  I want to spend time with God on rich ways.  I want to be involved with my kiddos.

I also sometimes get weary of myself.  Friendships are so life giving to me.  Yet, at times I wish I could step out of them, get myself where I want to be, quiet my soul, and re-engage.  It is like when you feel you should take a break from praying out loud because you can't rid yourself of what others are thinking or you find yourself in some kind of performance.

I feel God is at work.  Sometimes you just have to come to the end of yourself.  I felt that the other night.  Weary of my own thoughts swirling and weary of my comparisons, my motives.  I feel God has brought me friends that push me to more spiritually.  It is hard, but good.  I also feel God's moving by showing me He is there even when I feel at my worse and when I would not want anyone looking inside, He does and He remains.

You can't will a close relationship with God.  It just takes time.  It takes intention.  It takes being with Him.

It takes Him.

I want to continue to see His hand in my life and continue to see markers of His faithfulness.  But to do this, I have to pay attention, seek, and listen.

I have felt good about some steps I have made this week with Dev and Bobo.  It is a work in progress!  But the steps feel good!