She is almost one.

Cambria handed me my glasses.  I t was a marker

for the first time she distinctly gave me something

she was holding, knowing they were mine. (June 14th). 

Our girl is turning one in a couple of days.

It feels really big to me.  I have wanted a baby for

so long and we got our baby (still can't believe it

sometimes) and our baby is ONE!

I feel something in the pit of my stomach and the

tears want to come.  But I have felt so much

gratitude this past year to receive this last late bloom.

(We didn't need luck!  Going through my drawers

and found my marathon shirt, seemed also to

apply to this little one).

So this little uptight feeling that has been nagging

at me.  I think it's a lot of things. 

Baby's growing.

The baby I wanted for so long is growing.

I want to really celebrate her and all

that she represents.

I want to be present and not be so tied up in

party prep, but in order to throw a good and

meaningful party there is preparation, its

sometimes tough to navigate that.

I so wish my family was here for this day.

(We are starting to read side by side). 

I made a choice (after much discussion) to have a

simple party with a few people in the evening.

Dev wanted to do a garden party so she thought

of "Blooms for Cambria" and we will have décor and

bloom messages in a bottle for her.

I also made a sign: "Cambria Blooms", tagging onto

Dev's idea that our girl has bloomed and

so blossomed this year.

Just fruit and cupcakes.

Earlier in the day, as a family, we will take her to baby beach.

Thinking through what she would enjoy in the day is our

presence around her and for me not to be distracted.

So hoping it will be a marker, meaningful, celebration, and we

will give her the gift of presence.

We also have Drew's birthday tomorrow and I don't want him

to be overlooked. 

There is much goodness ahead and there is has been so much behind.