Back to School

(Bobo saw this picture and said, "wow she looks so pretty")

Back to school

"Armed and dangerous"...with the little blue heart at her waist, her bracelet Heather gave

her when we left, and her teddy bear in her backpack!

I had been nervous for this day. 

Deveraux had tears over family in CO.

But on Sunday, I felt some perspective as I received some clarity and relief.

I thought about how the future is uncertain. 

I don't know if Devearux will be at River Elementary next year but we have this time and

she has this time.  She can be a light for whoever comes in her path and she can just go for it!

She also had a break through after that first day of school.

She said that she now focuses on what she has to look forward to about school, like

music class instead of what is negative.  She also said what helps her for school is

to have things to look forward to.... like a treat for having a good week (last week we had a movie

night at home with lasagna and popcorn) and she likes when I pick her up to tell her I am proud of her and she did a great job!

We were driving in the car the other night to church.

Deveraux brought up school in reference to next year.

I asked, "do you want to be in school next year?"

She said, "yes"  Of course I was surprised as I thought we were just going to make it through this year.  I said, "I thought you wanted to be home schooled."  and then proceeded to ask some questions.  She said she gets tired of my questions and that she doesn't like being in the spotlight.  But I also told her there are many times she does love to chit chat.  She expressed that the outside of her doesn't always show what is going on inside of her.  She said, "you don't know my heart."  She said you ask so many questions.  I agreed and said, "Deveraux I am a counselor (at heart)"....to which she responded "you ask really good questions."  But I agree sometimes I need to go easy!  I learn from this little one! 

We find our way as she grows.

Some of things she was saying pained me.

But I want her to be an individual apart from me.

I want her to be able to express herself.

She so often looks to me and I think sometimes she probably feels like she can't "go against me."

But she can and should at times.

Ahh this process of growing up!

Last night, Bobo held open the door for Andrew.

He just has this thoughtfulness in him.

I pointed that out to Devearux that we can learn from him.

She said, "yes, that man makes me laugh and is so kind to me and she went on to say, you think when someone is old they are going to have the better manners but when someone is young they can have the better manners."

I have seen how lately as she grows, I need to grow with her.

Some of that growth will go through some phases that are messy.

The same responses and strategies may not always work with her.

I am the mama and I need to be in prayer of how to love her best and

really be on top of things so I am not reactive but aware and continue to have

a patient "marathon" vision for her.  We aren't in a sprint!

I am so glad I have a journey with this girl!