Our days

So below are two different excerpts written about two days in our day to day.

One day can make all the difference.  These are two extreme days-

super hard to one of our best days.

One thing that remains is that Everyday we start new.

I know tomorrow will be better. I just feel defeated today and need a good cry. 

Motherhood can sometimes be so lonely. It is me the one who had to have the continual good attitude, get everyone going, direct the ship, make sure I'm not asking too much OR not requiring enough. 

The last couple days have been hard with Dev. I feel this pressure to make sure she is okay when there is a "lull" in action. To keep her from just wanting to watch a show. Then she just has seemed "put out" over helping the last 2 days. In a moment where I could really use her, she is in her own world. Saying we can make dinner but then she wants to look at an album. It's hard because I don't want to put more on her, maybe I put too much on her. 

Cambria is just at a hard stage. She is not super content for long and doesn't really play with toys. I hate giving her media but that is sometimes the only thing that will buy me some time. By the time I am done with school, I just want to feed my introvert side. Or fill back up but that is when she needs me to play with her. 

I was frustrated with school today. I am so weary of it being hard. If it's not Bobo listening or working, it's Dev not wanting to put in the hard work, or it's Cambria needy so I can't even complete a teaching sentence with the older two. 

I feel like I'm failing. It just feels like work. I wanted homeschooling to work and I often just feel defeated. 

Today I just needed 10 minutes of peace. And I could not get it. It was like I could not escape my life. 

11 hours on my own is long. I told the kids today I am weary of their attitudes, of being the one who keeps having to wade through their attitudes with each other, with school, etc.    it's like I have to keep convincing them we need to do school and work hard. 

I know a day can make a big difference and tomorrow could feel totally different. I just feel defeated right now and I'm not sure how to recover. And I can't figure out how to make it work. And I want it to work. What is God up to??

I had to mark this day.  It was a good homeschool day!  A good homeschool day!

Bobo got a head start on work and we enjoyed learning.  This process has not  always 

been easy.  But we go day by day.  

They truly were all looking at dictionaries (not a "staged" photo).