"No." I laugh.
"It's blue, a pretty color." The hair dresser adds.
"Yes it is, my son actually picked it out." I say proudly.
"I am painting his bookshelf."
I can barely look at myself in the Great Clips mirror.
What do I see staring at me.....
Gray hair (as my daughter lovingly speaks aloud).
I tell her it is wisdom. (trying to convenience myself).
I don't like what I see. Physically I am crouched a bit lower in my chair.
Embarrassed.
Wild frizzy curly hair, too many months of putting it up and out of the way.
Now it is down with nowhere to hide, pretend, or dress it up. I feel stared at.
Yet, my kids don't seem to notice (as Bobo is turning round and round in the spinning chair beside me).
They do not seem embarrassed.
It is me. They see me every day.
We are at home together.
has been a bit unsettling for all of us. He lovingly and as a man of his word went
to fetch our things from my sister and brother-in-law's house in Colorado. We miss
his presence in our home.
The days do not contain enough hours, the hours not enough moments
for all I want to say and do.
The month will not be long enough to tell these people and this landscape
how thankful I am to have made this my home for the last two years.
How they have shaped me more into who I want to be.
So the paradox... barely wanting to look in that mirror at hair undone for
too long. Yet, the same head who has been loved and cared for beyond
what I deserve.
Ann Voscamp said tonight in her blog what I needed to hear,
"My sin is not enough to separate me from God and my strengths are not
enough to save me.
I can rest in that tonight.
Sunset captured on Labor Day, Carmel Beach
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