Tending....to growth

 I am to tend.

I am so glad I am in the business of tending.

As I coil the garden hose, I think I can do this in Maui as well.

So sad if I am asked to leave.

But my job right now is to tend.....

Wherever we lay our heads.

I need God.

I have thought at times that love alone will be enough.

Or

Resolve:

I will be a good mom.

Proclamations:

"Today. will be different.  Today, I will...."

Then I fail.  I fall.  I feel guilt.  I didn't do enough. 

 I didn't make the right choice.

"Blessed are the poor in Spirit, they shall see God."

Blessed: "well being belonging to the faithful."

Poor in Spirit: "opposite of self sufficiency, deep humility,

acutely conscious of their own lostness and hopelessness

apart from Divine Grace."

I had a taste of this last week.

  I can become so dependent upon myself, circumstances, or my kids to give me what

I need in the day to day.  Or to define my day.

But.....

Blessed (will I be) if I fully embrace that I am

 Poor in Spirit, I cannot go another moment on my mine own.

  I cannot "pull off" motherhood.

Then will be blessed.  And my children.  And my husband. 

I will be blessed as I Tend and I will see another way God is using

this season in my life to draw me closer.

So I guess He is tending to my growth as well.