"Bring on mom"

Mom comes today.  I am very excited to see her.  But I also feel tears coming at the same time.  Things are not they way they used to be and they never will be.  I anticipate what I will feel and experience as she progresses with the disease of Alzheimer's. 

Mom has been one of my favorite guests since being away from home.  She is always ready to go wherever and do whatever.  She seamlessly joins into my life and we have fun doing my normal day to day stuff and enjoying the tourist stuff as well.

Mom is so easy to please.   She is an instant audience for my children.  She loves beauty.  She is willing to just hang out.  She loves ice cream. 

She loves me.

She is the one who saw my dinner plates and bought me a new set.  She is the one who bought me more silverware because we "just did not have enough."  She always seems to have an eye out for what I am missing and is happy to fulfill it for me  Now she is not even aware of her own bank account.

As I clean today I can't my mind from wondering if this is the last time I will clean for her arrival.  I can't help but think it.  Every trip feels a bit "borrowed."  I just want to enjoy her and for her to enjoy all that is around her...I want to activate every sense.  I feel in a sense I am "springing her from the joint."  I know she isn't in jail, (just a residence for Alzheimer) and in fact the cost alone precludes it from being jail.  But it is not home for me for her.  It's still foreign for my mom to be in a "home" and not home.

(Bobo says Gigi has the funniest faces).

(The faces of the house)

So "bring on" the walking, the bagels with cream cheese and coffee, the beach, the laughter, the painting, the hanging, and the ice cream!  Lord, my prayer..let me just enjoy this time and trust your provision.  And yes, bring on the tears as I know they will come.

I love you mom.